Making the world a better place

There were times during my elementary, middle school, and high school education that were dedicated to giving back and learning about the environment. Gearing up for Earth Day was a big part of this of course, but depending on the teacher, the importance of recycling, how to eat right, and how the world depends on itself was talked about as well. But, it didn't stick past high school. I mean truthfully, I don't really think I gave thought about the environment beyond what was convenient for myself. Sure, global warming was "happening", but really was I the cause? And even if I was, would I be able to stop it? The hardest thing about a big issue like the environment is helping people make everyday changes to their life. We all intrinsically want to live in a better place, but how?

I watched a documentary last night called, "Carbon Nation", which literally explained how the burning of carbon (a fossil fuel) is exacerbating global warming to the point where we are on the cusp of something serious. No, not Kim Kardashian breaks up with Kris Humphries serious (note the sarcasm), but wildlife dying, temperature changing, our world as we know it not existing serious. What I found intriguing about this documentary is that all over the country, people are using what the world gives us to solve our problems. Wind energy, water energy, solar panels, etc. Did you know that in one day the sun heats the earth with MORE than enough energy that we would need in our lifetime?

So what can we do? I understand that sometimes humans feel incredibly small in front of such a large issue. I know I do. And, it is much easier to continue on the path we're on then to make a change. But, we need to be aware. We need to understand that this is not something to turn our noses up at. Clean energy and making the switch to this is important. It is important to the Earth and the environment, it is important to a struggling economy by increasing a new sector and jobs, and it is important for us to give something better to the next generation. The planet actually gives us everything we need to survive. It is up to us to wake up and use it.

Quality Content

I've been thinking a lot about content. What makes it stick, what makes it good, and on the flip side, what makes bad content? While content, whether it be stories, songs, folklore, etc has always been part of how humans communicate, when did it become the holy grail for marketers, advertisers, brands, and companies?

Let's start with the definition of content: Something that is to be expressed through some medium, as speech, writing, or any of various arts. The interesting point here is that the medium has changed or rather, increased. While content used to be passed through word of mouth, letters, television, or radio, it now has a seemingly never ending distribution model. But, does that mean everyone and everyone HAS to be there? I don't think so.

Good content has a why behind it. Not only does it fulfill a need, but it should be the consumer's or human's rather, option on when to consume. A breaking news story, a friend's personal accomplishment, a funny picture, or even new music- we can consume this type of information 24/7. Both a blessing and a burden, it desensitizes us and distracts us from quality.

So many pieces of content are written for their search rankings, not for the pleasure of creating something from scratch. Tag this word, link off to another site, all to ensure you're seen by a consumer. Of course, someone's hard work deserves to be seen, but when will we get back to a place where a great review suffices as a way to drive people there?

Lack of attention

I know, it's been awhile. And I also know this isn't the first time I've gone radio silent for a period of time. I love this blog and more importantly I love writing. Whatever I have on my mind this is an amazing forum where I receive awesome feedback on what I am thinking. There truly is something to be said about gaining praise on something you've created.

So why the lack of attention? Well, there have been many changes (more to come on them soon), which are likely part of this. What I want to talk about today is when life throws a curveball how that affects my day-to-day life.  I am a schedule person. Dates are planned weeks in advance, trips are made with a google document tracking us down to the minute. I would say, I struggle with a "going with the flow" attitude. There are people who are reading this thinking, wow I don't know how you operate like that. I have a friend who just told me she is planning to travel to Italy for two weeks on her own with no real plans. I envy that, but I know it's not me.

So when life changes plans I stall. Not only do I stall, but I focus on how to resolve the change to bring me back to my regular schedule. And then, I forget to do the things that are part of that. My gym schedule is thrown off, I forget to cook dinner or food shop, and I also forget to write. I should multi-task, keep a semblance of my normal life and adjust to the changes as much as I can without over-compensating. So this is the first step. I am back to writing regularly. And I hope you stay tuned, especially when I dive a little deeper into what's been going on.

What is fat?

Why the obsession over other women's bodies? Why not spend time focusing on ourselves? A good friend of mine sent me this article (http://jezebel.com/5924622/kate-upton-is-now-considered-fat) and while I read it through, it is not that unique. A celebrity has her big break, she is considered to be a beautiful woman, and then she has a bad day, week, month and we swarm on picking her apart. But it's not really a "we" who nitpick here, I believe it's women who do this to each other far more than men to do us. And the bigger question is, why?

Most of the time, we blame the media. The way models look, the way actresses are unattainably thin, and that we idolize them. Yes, this is partially the media's fault, but it is our obsession with it that makes these standards okay. And this creates a cycle where women feel that they have to look a certain way to fit in. I can only imagine that this his been a truth throughout time, with royalty replacing actresses, so what can we do?

When I was a senior in high school we were tasked with writing a research paper on the topic of our choice in order to receive the International Baccalaureate diploma. In the spirit of staying relevant, I looked at the correlation between eating disorders and teenage girls. I found that through an enormous amount of research there are varying levels of what could be considered "disordered eating" and "body dysmorphia", which while are not full blown eating disorders, they effect many girls and women. And what was the main cause of this? How looks are perceived in the media and a lack of self-esteem within women, which we help perpetuate.

So what can we do here? We need to value self-worth. We need to help other women see that what they look like does not matter when compared to health. Eating the right foods, in the right portions, while keeping healthy habits and exercising is what is important. Reading, knowledge, and understanding the world around us, that is important. Sticking our nose up at Kate Upton's potential weight gain is a waste of how far we've all come.

Cycle of Friendship- Part II

I am sure everyone reading this has had a conflict that was the "straw that broke the camel's back" in a particular relationship. A harsh reality is that while we will move forward throughout life, it is not necessarily with the people we saw ourselves with from the beginning. That sucks (since I hate change), but moreover because I have an innate desire to have everyone like me. I know, that is ridiculous, but it is something I've really thought could be possible. If I worked hard enough at my relationships, then surely this would not happen for me. Then, life hits. It changes you. And your relationships either change in tandem, or they don't.

My therapist (come on, I have two for parents) told me that the key to long-lasting friendships is the acceptance of change in one another's lives. How would or could it be possible that at every juncture in life, we'd all be on the same page? Maintaining long-lasting relationships means that we love our friends at their core, but that we may not always like who or where they are right now. We have to be willing to accept that at certain times, we will be ahead, behind, next to, or wherever when compared to our friends.

Over the past year and a half, this has been a tremendous point of contention with people in my life. Essentially, after I met Zack I put less effort into my friendships. For a myriad of reasons, from engaging with Zack's life, to believing that those who I spent years growing relationships with would be around no matter what, I focused on different things. I believed that the effort I had exhausted, the memories (both good and bad), and the notion that we're all going to change would be able to sustain what I had built. In some cases, I was right. And in others, I have seen friends turn their back.

People come into our lives for varying reasons and leave the same way. We become friends based on common interests, shared experiences, or because our lives intersect. Maintaining friendships beyond these easy commonalities is the hard part. Take a step back readers, are you willing to accept that your friend might not have the same amount of time for you when she has a baby, a new hobby, or a new boyfriend? While it is terribly upsetting when someone does not accept this, it does teach a valuable lesson: it may be beyond our control to determine who is a constant in our lives no matter how we try. But, we need people who accept that change is really the only constant in life

Seize your potential, but smell the roses

Over the past month, it seems that the articles discussing women in the workplace are at an all time high. That, or they're going more viral than ever. Sheryl Sandberg is at the center, making waves in statements that she leaves work at 5PM to be with her children, and more recently, in her commencement speech at Barnard, telling women to, "keep your foot on the gas pedal" and "not leave before you leave". I've stayed abreast of all of this, including content of the same sentiment; that women indeed can have it all, not feel guilty, and still succeed.

But here's the thing. I am not Sheryl Sandberg. I am not the COO of Facebook, nor am I the head of Digital at another Fortune 500 company. How did these women get to their current roles? I am absolutely certain no one left work at 5PM. And therein lies an issue I battle with. I don't, as I am sure other women who strive to be successful feel, believe I "deserve" to shut down at 5PM, 6PM or even 8PM. I am always on, always aiming to make my mark. 

While there have been articles on not feeling guilty, there has been a equal amount regarding women who burn out too early. Women who are mentally and physically exhausted by 35. Women who leave corporate jobs they thought they wanted to work for themselves, live in the country, or pursue other methods of happiness. 

The truth is, at 27 I am in my prime to work my ass off. It is the first time in my life I am financially able to be on my own, save money, and do the things I want. I don't have children, I am not married and besides some friends who don't understand the work-life balance I've chosen, I don't have anyone to make me feel guilty. Except of course, myself. I worry that I will not succeed in the sea of opportunity that has been made possible. 

Feminism was supposed to be about choice. And, I think it still can be. With the promotion of "balancing" our work and personal lives (more to the tune that men have always done), then we will be even more successful. If I don't leave at 6PM some nights, go to the gym, take vacation, and see guilty-pleasure movies then I will become to resent my work. My work should enable me to do the things I want and only under the strictest of deadlines, hinder it. 

The nag

We all do it. You're shaking your head right now, but think about it. Have you ever whined to get what you want? Incessantly urged someone to do something they didn't want to do? If you haven't, I will give you my number so I can learn from you because as much as I thought I wasn't "that girl"- I am.

My mom had a rule when I was growing up that before we could barade her when she walked in the door, she needed 15 minutes to herself. I didn't understand why she wasn't able to focus on what I needed, at that very moment, and provide me with the solution/plan/next step. It makes sense. We need time to shift gears. To decompress from work, or being with family and move into the next phase. As an adult, my life is so planned, that taking a few minutes to myself sounds like a waste of time.

I walked into my "new" apartment last week to see Zack sitting on our newly delivered couch. I took a look at it and him, proceeding to rattle off a list of what we had to do right now. After he blankly stared at me, he asked why I didn't comment on the couch or even took 5 minutes to breathe. I realized that I was in full nag mode. The stuff men hate, their terrible folklore of what happens after you move in with someone. And it had to cease.

Listen, we or at least I nag because I'm a control freak. I like things the way I like them and I believe that by complaining and annoying I can change behavior. Untrue. The goal is to compromise and see this as part of the journey. To ask rather than demand. To understand that how I see things is not necessarily how Zack or someone else might. Nagging might be part of our frustration in communication with those around us, but I am bound to find a better way.