A lot of us don't know what to do with diversity. As a nation we understand that the crux of who we are is rooted in our differences, but whether we fully accept that idea is an interesting question. Most of us have a set of preconceived notions when we encounter new situations. Sometimes it's an expectation and other times we are surprised by what we learn. It is important to keep an open mind, and like everyone else - for me it can be harder said than done.
As a holiday tradition at my new job we embarked on a noodle lunch in Chinatown. I've tried asian noodles before with my friend Kat - who is a ramen aficionado, but this was about hand-pulled noodles from the Chinese city of Xi'an. My expectation was for spicy, schezuan-type cuisine or possibly a noodle soup- something I knew. However, what I got was completely different: cumin-infused, papardelle-like noodles with lamb and cabbage. It was an intersection of Chinese and Middle Eastern flavors, and a nod to the importance of noodles in Chinese and Asian cuisine. I was pleasantly surprised.
Similar to New York City, Xi'an is a melting pot. It was the starting point of the Silk Road, which was a network of interlinking trade routes that connected Asia, the Mediterranean, Europe, and parts of Africa - essentially a mass dissemenation of ideas, cultures, and goods. It is on this route where silk was brought to Europe, where Marco Polo (possibly) showed Italians what noodles were, and isolated cultures were exposed to urban areas.
As I mentioned in my last blog post, this is the first of many experiences I will have in 2013 to help me understand more about my purpose. What I've taken away from my noodle lunch is that it is only with the exchange of ideas that great, new things (like cumin noodles) can happen.For instance, so much of what makes NYC great today would not have happened without the influx of immigrants and their cultures to New York Harbor in the 19th century. Little Italy, Lower East Side pickles, Pan-Asian cuisine- the list could go on forever. When we are able to keep an open mind and evolve with the influences that surround us the output is usually something quite surprising.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Welcome to 2013
I am getting ahead of myself. It's not here quite yet. But you feel change in the air, right? Holidays are approaching, work is slowing down (kind of), and people are beginning to reflect on 2012, with a hopeful eye towards next year. What is in store for us in 2013? Really, anything could happen. I know that's vague, but at a certain point we understand that only so much of life is in our control.
The act of making resolutions is a quick solution for a lot of us. We make a list of ten things we will absolutely, 100%, no matter what, do this year. "This year I will go to the gym every single day". "This year I will get married". "This year I will make $1,000,000". But, what if you break your leg? What if you haven't met Mr. Right, yet? What if you don't know what you want to do with your life? Plus, let's be honest, most of these resolutions are forgotten by March.
I hate resolutions. I like creating habits. I don't think our lives are a series of checks off of a to-do list. I do believe, however, that we can change our mindsets to get what we want or cope with what we actually have. Maybe going to the gym everyday isn't realistic, but spending a year working on a healthy lifestyle is. Focusing on the why will help us get to the changes we are looking for.
So this upcoming year, I will focus on seeking out what my purpose is. I want to find out what makes me tick, what I am most passionate about, and even what I never want to do again. Through new experiences each week, from trying new foods to attempting anti-gravity yoga, I will use this blog to keep track of my thoughts and what I've received in return. I know a few things that are certain this year like seeing close friends get married or a trip to a new country. But, as for the rest - anything could happen and I hope you'll be reading my journey.
The act of making resolutions is a quick solution for a lot of us. We make a list of ten things we will absolutely, 100%, no matter what, do this year. "This year I will go to the gym every single day". "This year I will get married". "This year I will make $1,000,000". But, what if you break your leg? What if you haven't met Mr. Right, yet? What if you don't know what you want to do with your life? Plus, let's be honest, most of these resolutions are forgotten by March.
I hate resolutions. I like creating habits. I don't think our lives are a series of checks off of a to-do list. I do believe, however, that we can change our mindsets to get what we want or cope with what we actually have. Maybe going to the gym everyday isn't realistic, but spending a year working on a healthy lifestyle is. Focusing on the why will help us get to the changes we are looking for.
So this upcoming year, I will focus on seeking out what my purpose is. I want to find out what makes me tick, what I am most passionate about, and even what I never want to do again. Through new experiences each week, from trying new foods to attempting anti-gravity yoga, I will use this blog to keep track of my thoughts and what I've received in return. I know a few things that are certain this year like seeing close friends get married or a trip to a new country. But, as for the rest - anything could happen and I hope you'll be reading my journey.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Cycle of Friendship-Part III
Since this theme seems to be top of mind, I wanted to reference my last post on this subject. I said, "While it is terribly upsetting when someone does not accept this [change], it does teach a valuable lesson: it may be beyond our control to determine who is a constant in our lives no matter how we try." So it very well may be out of control as to who stays and who goes...at least to a degree. We can try to save it. We can forgive, forget, move on to a new chapter. But, what if the other person doesn't want to?
The truth is you can't make someone want to move on with you. You can't force someone to see your side of the coin. And when they finally want to move on, you might not be ready to anymore. So what happens? We have to understand that in certain situations there were too many bad things to salvage memories. Accepting that a relationship, any relationship ceases to exist when you thought it always would is the hard part.
I've been lucky, I haven't had a heart-wrenching breakup with a boyfriend. If I had, I might be better suited for these types of changes. I might be better at understanding that you can be close with someone and then, poof, it's gone. Whether you're the one who decides not to move on or you're the one who is shut down, it's a loss.
Do we accept the loss? We might never. We might always be hurt or angry. Only time will tell.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Settling in
How many of you have started a new chapter in your life patiently waiting to "settle in"? My hand is raised - I imagine most of yours are as well. We tell ourselves that the rough parts are the beginning of things. The anxiety of the unknown, the learning, the adjustment - it's all build up to the point where we wait to settle in. But, what if settling in doesn't happen? And furthermore, what if that goal isn't what I want to strive for?
Let me explain this a bit more. The past six months (and moreover the past year) have been filled with tremendous changes, creating stress, sadness, happieness, newness, and lots of other feelings I can't quite recall at the moment. Both my relationships and my job seemed to constantly change and I waited for the EKG line of my life to flatten out. Or at least I thought so.
In August, everything piled on at once. My job that I had once loved morphed into a something completely different. Suddenly, I wasn't doing what I thought I would be, I was sought out unfairly by a boss who had it out for me (oh, there will be a blog on this), and the learning had stopped . At the same time, I left my roomates to move in with my boyfriend, while he simultaneously went out on his own with his business. The focus shifted from "moving-in" to creating a sustainable business (which I am happy to say he has). But all in all, I felt displaced. I didn't want to walk into work and my apartment was shared office space. Finally, I found a new job which I started in October. When I got the job, my mom kept telling me that once October hit- I would be able to finally settle in.
So, have I? Let me talk in business terms for a moment. When you set up a campaign there are goals (or KPI's) that success is measured against. When we don't think throughoughly about these goals,we pick the easiest, usually wrong, ones. So we can never understand if we actually achieved what we sought out to do. I think that settling into these new adventures in my life was not the right goal. Perhaps, "settling in" means complacent to me right now.
So, I don't want to be settled, I want to be challenged. I hope my new job brings a steady stream of new learnings and sometimes makes me uncomfortable. I want Zack to push me to be a better person. And most of all, I want to move forward through all of the ups and downs.
Let me explain this a bit more. The past six months (and moreover the past year) have been filled with tremendous changes, creating stress, sadness, happieness, newness, and lots of other feelings I can't quite recall at the moment. Both my relationships and my job seemed to constantly change and I waited for the EKG line of my life to flatten out. Or at least I thought so.
In August, everything piled on at once. My job that I had once loved morphed into a something completely different. Suddenly, I wasn't doing what I thought I would be, I was sought out unfairly by a boss who had it out for me (oh, there will be a blog on this), and the learning had stopped . At the same time, I left my roomates to move in with my boyfriend, while he simultaneously went out on his own with his business. The focus shifted from "moving-in" to creating a sustainable business (which I am happy to say he has). But all in all, I felt displaced. I didn't want to walk into work and my apartment was shared office space. Finally, I found a new job which I started in October. When I got the job, my mom kept telling me that once October hit- I would be able to finally settle in.
So, have I? Let me talk in business terms for a moment. When you set up a campaign there are goals (or KPI's) that success is measured against. When we don't think throughoughly about these goals,we pick the easiest, usually wrong, ones. So we can never understand if we actually achieved what we sought out to do. I think that settling into these new adventures in my life was not the right goal. Perhaps, "settling in" means complacent to me right now.
So, I don't want to be settled, I want to be challenged. I hope my new job brings a steady stream of new learnings and sometimes makes me uncomfortable. I want Zack to push me to be a better person. And most of all, I want to move forward through all of the ups and downs.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Love Affair ... with NYC
I love and hate this place. On any given day you will find me relishing in the fact that I live in the "greatest place on earth" while cursing the tourists, cost of living, inability to get a cab, and weather. Sure, it would be easier to live almost anywhere else. Have a car to go to the grocery store with. Have space in your apartment... but no other place has a beat the way that Manhattan does.
When I was younger, my grandmother would take me into the city every six months or so for shopping or a broadway show. She still lives in NYC, although in the "always getting trendier" Brooklyn, and has always had a great love for the way Manhattan makes her feel. She once said to me, "NYC has a beat, a pulse, it's alive, and that is why I love spending time here." Well, at age 6, or 12, or even 17 I wasn't so sure. It was dirtier than my Long Island suburb I called home. It was loud. And wasn't it dangerous?
I took an internship my junior year of college and chose to live in the NYU dorms to create a more "real-life" experience (but really, I think my parents just wanted me out of the house). That summer, the summer of 2005, was when I found out what my grandmother had spoken about. After I graduated, I took a job and embarked on my first year as a Manhattan resident. I fell in love, whole-heartedly, with this city. There is something happening at any given moment. It has the ability to make you feel lost, but also feel as if you know the entire island. There is nothing like going out at night, the whirlwind of cabs and clubs and restaurants and late night dining. There is a quiet like nowhere else before noon on a Sunday.
Like all of us, I have my personal memories of September 11, 2001. But rather than looking to the past, I want to look forward. So today, on the eleventh anniversary of the greatest tragedy that struck this city and our nation, I am now, more than ever proud to be part of this city. There has never been a city like this, made up of all these different types of people, of people who want to achieve the best and are often beset by adversity. We are bound together by the love of living here, but also by the acknowledgement that making it in NYC is no small feat.
When I was younger, my grandmother would take me into the city every six months or so for shopping or a broadway show. She still lives in NYC, although in the "always getting trendier" Brooklyn, and has always had a great love for the way Manhattan makes her feel. She once said to me, "NYC has a beat, a pulse, it's alive, and that is why I love spending time here." Well, at age 6, or 12, or even 17 I wasn't so sure. It was dirtier than my Long Island suburb I called home. It was loud. And wasn't it dangerous?
I took an internship my junior year of college and chose to live in the NYU dorms to create a more "real-life" experience (but really, I think my parents just wanted me out of the house). That summer, the summer of 2005, was when I found out what my grandmother had spoken about. After I graduated, I took a job and embarked on my first year as a Manhattan resident. I fell in love, whole-heartedly, with this city. There is something happening at any given moment. It has the ability to make you feel lost, but also feel as if you know the entire island. There is nothing like going out at night, the whirlwind of cabs and clubs and restaurants and late night dining. There is a quiet like nowhere else before noon on a Sunday.
Like all of us, I have my personal memories of September 11, 2001. But rather than looking to the past, I want to look forward. So today, on the eleventh anniversary of the greatest tragedy that struck this city and our nation, I am now, more than ever proud to be part of this city. There has never been a city like this, made up of all these different types of people, of people who want to achieve the best and are often beset by adversity. We are bound together by the love of living here, but also by the acknowledgement that making it in NYC is no small feat.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
The land of opportunity
Whether you've been tuning in to the National Conventions last week or this week, whether you are highly political or not, there is a likelihood that there are issues that are part of the 2012 election that are near and dear to your heart. For most of us, spending time year round following the ever-changing (and sometimes shady) political landscape does not happen. But during this time of year, during the ramp up to what I believe is a tremendous election that will determine our path as a nation and a people, you're likely (and hopefully) paying attention.
Last night was the first night in the Democratic National Convention in which Michelle Obama delivered a speech that has been revered as extraordinary. There was a line from last night's speech that spoke to me as I believe it should speak to all of us: "When you walk through the door of opportunity you do not slam it behind you," she said. "No. You reach back and give other people the same choices that help you succeed." We are not alone in the success we find. There is no such thing as the Republican platform, "We Built It" (which should be translated to, "I Built This With No Help From Anyone"). For me, this belief is the crux of what is at stake during this election.
What bonds Americans together is that we can transition from a have-not to a have with hard-work, determination, and opportunity. We all have a story like this. My story, Michelle Obama's story, those are not unique. What is unique is to have success handed to you and not want that same success for others. Listen, the way our economy, a free-market economy works means that some will have more than others, we should all understand that. However, the way our country is set up is to support those who have less and to provide opportunity and chances to everyone who wants it. We are at risk of giving that up.
So why should you care during this election? There are many reasons. The war, the economy, the budget, new jobs. But above and beyond all of that, it is the question of opportunity. Personally, that is something I am not willing to give up. I grew up in an apartment, sharing a room with my brother my whole life. We stayed in my town because the school district is top-notch. I worked my ass off in high-school to get into a good college and when I got accepted to nearly every school, I was elated. I went from the University of Maryland to an internship at a media agency, which turned into my first job. I've continued my career in this industry, knowing that I've been lucky to have these opportunities, but that I alone was not responsible for this success. We are helped by those around us: my parents, my teachers, my grandparents, my uncle, my mentors- they have supported me. That is why I take time to help others to offer advice or to make an introduction. My opportunities were only available because someone was willing to take a chance on me. Which ironically, is the belief that our country is based on: taking a chance and offering an opportunity.
Last night was the first night in the Democratic National Convention in which Michelle Obama delivered a speech that has been revered as extraordinary. There was a line from last night's speech that spoke to me as I believe it should speak to all of us: "When you walk through the door of opportunity you do not slam it behind you," she said. "No. You reach back and give other people the same choices that help you succeed." We are not alone in the success we find. There is no such thing as the Republican platform, "We Built It" (which should be translated to, "I Built This With No Help From Anyone"). For me, this belief is the crux of what is at stake during this election.
What bonds Americans together is that we can transition from a have-not to a have with hard-work, determination, and opportunity. We all have a story like this. My story, Michelle Obama's story, those are not unique. What is unique is to have success handed to you and not want that same success for others. Listen, the way our economy, a free-market economy works means that some will have more than others, we should all understand that. However, the way our country is set up is to support those who have less and to provide opportunity and chances to everyone who wants it. We are at risk of giving that up.
So why should you care during this election? There are many reasons. The war, the economy, the budget, new jobs. But above and beyond all of that, it is the question of opportunity. Personally, that is something I am not willing to give up. I grew up in an apartment, sharing a room with my brother my whole life. We stayed in my town because the school district is top-notch. I worked my ass off in high-school to get into a good college and when I got accepted to nearly every school, I was elated. I went from the University of Maryland to an internship at a media agency, which turned into my first job. I've continued my career in this industry, knowing that I've been lucky to have these opportunities, but that I alone was not responsible for this success. We are helped by those around us: my parents, my teachers, my grandparents, my uncle, my mentors- they have supported me. That is why I take time to help others to offer advice or to make an introduction. My opportunities were only available because someone was willing to take a chance on me. Which ironically, is the belief that our country is based on: taking a chance and offering an opportunity.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Support system
Support has varying roles. Whether it's the brace I wore after I rolled my ankle in a pair of wedges last week, a customer service line (we're looking at you tech support) to help us fix that problem, or a shoulder to cry on after a bad day, support almost always means helping. All relationships require support, but not everything is as simple as the ankle brace example. What I mean here is that when I get hurt, my ankle brace 100% supports me, right? I use it for two days, feel better, and put that brace right back in the medicine cabinet. It doesn't need to talk about it's problems, bad day, paper cut, or anything. I receive all of the benefits without having to give anything back. Real relationships however, require a balance of asking for support and supporting. How this balance works is quite interesting.
When I take a look at my own relationships, I have ones where I am consistently asking for support and ones where I am giving more support. For instance, I have the luxury of having parents who will drop everything to listen to me, console me, and support whatever decision I make. Do I offer the same level of support to them? Likely not, but the role of a parent to a child is hardly ever 50/50 and they understand that. On the other hand, I have had friends who I offer advice to at all points, but I know are not able to offer that same support to me.
Then, there are relationships when the balance is more equal. When I look at my relationship with Zack, I see the support we offer each other, but the struggle to understand each other as well. Blind support is what parents are for, but with Zack it's ensuring we understand what we are supporting. There are few things, in my mind, as imperative as knowing that the most important people in your life have a "I will drop anything and be there for you" mentality. I used to think that came from the length of a relationship, but I realize that it is much more about the connection and trust you develop with someone. There are people I have met later in life who have proven time and again to be there when I need it.
For me, asking for help is hard. But, knowing that there are people lined up to help makes it easier to ask. Part of the balance is knowing when to ask, and for what issue. And conversely, it is also knowing when to simply be there when someone doesn't ask.We all have support systems. And we all have people we have to support. It's ensuring that the people we keep around are aware of the balance.
When I take a look at my own relationships, I have ones where I am consistently asking for support and ones where I am giving more support. For instance, I have the luxury of having parents who will drop everything to listen to me, console me, and support whatever decision I make. Do I offer the same level of support to them? Likely not, but the role of a parent to a child is hardly ever 50/50 and they understand that. On the other hand, I have had friends who I offer advice to at all points, but I know are not able to offer that same support to me.
Then, there are relationships when the balance is more equal. When I look at my relationship with Zack, I see the support we offer each other, but the struggle to understand each other as well. Blind support is what parents are for, but with Zack it's ensuring we understand what we are supporting. There are few things, in my mind, as imperative as knowing that the most important people in your life have a "I will drop anything and be there for you" mentality. I used to think that came from the length of a relationship, but I realize that it is much more about the connection and trust you develop with someone. There are people I have met later in life who have proven time and again to be there when I need it.
For me, asking for help is hard. But, knowing that there are people lined up to help makes it easier to ask. Part of the balance is knowing when to ask, and for what issue. And conversely, it is also knowing when to simply be there when someone doesn't ask.We all have support systems. And we all have people we have to support. It's ensuring that the people we keep around are aware of the balance.
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