Cycle of Friendship-Part III

Since this theme seems to be top of mind, I wanted to reference my last post on this subject. I said, "While it is terribly upsetting when someone does not accept this [change], it does teach a valuable lesson: it may be beyond our control to determine who is a constant in our lives no matter how we try." So it very well may be out of control as to who stays and who goes...at least to a degree. We can try to save it. We can forgive, forget, move on to a new chapter. But, what if the other person doesn't want to?

The truth is you can't make someone want to move on with you. You can't force someone to see your side of the coin. And when they finally want to move on, you might not be ready to anymore. So what happens? We have to understand that in certain situations there were too many bad things to salvage memories. Accepting that a relationship, any relationship ceases to exist when you thought it always would is the hard part.

I've been lucky, I haven't had a heart-wrenching breakup with a boyfriend. If I had, I might be better suited for these types of changes. I might be better at understanding that you can be close with someone and then, poof, it's gone. Whether you're the one who decides not to move on or you're the one who is shut down, it's a loss.

Do we accept the loss? We might never. We might always be hurt or angry. Only time will tell.