Decisions, Decisions...

I recently read a blog post (Jo, this is a shout out to you!) about the decision making process. If you are lucky to have a support system, you are likely asking them for advice and "what would you do" scenarios. I agree that having other people's thoughts, especially to play devil's advocate is helpful for us all. It puts us in someone else's shoes, it helps us see the other side. But, inevitably we are alone in what we decide. It is only you who has to live with the decision and its aftermath.

There are all sorts of choices we make daily. What should I eat for breakfast versus should I go out drinking tonight even though I have work tomorrow? These don't really need a level of consulting compared to the more life-changing decisions: Where should I live? Should I move on an opportunity to take a job in another country? Do I want to get married?

As I have thought about this, I find that I ask my support system to help me navigate these tough decisions because ideally, I want them to agree with me. Yes, Rachel- you made the better choice. The thing with advice is that it is free, and people absolutely love to give it. Are your best interests in their eyes? Are they really putting themselves in your shoes? The more people you ask, the more you are opening yourself up to a variant of choices.

Last year, I went through a five month job-search process, vetting various roles, companies, and opportunities. When I knew it was right (with my current employer), I wanted to jump that second. I also wanted everyone to agree with me. My mom was nervous that the company was still in startup mode. My extended family wanted me to take a job with a larger corporation. My boyfriend wouldn't make the decision because he knew it had to be mine. My friends didn't know why I was looking. Nonetheless, I chose my current job and while there have been good and bad days, I am where I want to be. I made my choice, I went with my gut, and I ended up benefitting. Unfortunately, this is not the case with every choice.

Inevitably, there are times when what is good for you may not be good for everyone else in the room, leaving us with compromise as the solution. What concessions are we willing to make? More often that not, my nature is to be selfish. I want what I want when I want it, leaving compromising as a last resort. The real world, as we all know it, is full of compromises. I live in NYC, I am compromising space for a Manhattan zip code! At the end of the day, sometimes you do have to stand your ground. And there are other times when we have to consider the loss and gain. Just like economics, you cannot gain something without losing in something else.