The nag

We all do it. You're shaking your head right now, but think about it. Have you ever whined to get what you want? Incessantly urged someone to do something they didn't want to do? If you haven't, I will give you my number so I can learn from you because as much as I thought I wasn't "that girl"- I am.

My mom had a rule when I was growing up that before we could barade her when she walked in the door, she needed 15 minutes to herself. I didn't understand why she wasn't able to focus on what I needed, at that very moment, and provide me with the solution/plan/next step. It makes sense. We need time to shift gears. To decompress from work, or being with family and move into the next phase. As an adult, my life is so planned, that taking a few minutes to myself sounds like a waste of time.

I walked into my "new" apartment last week to see Zack sitting on our newly delivered couch. I took a look at it and him, proceeding to rattle off a list of what we had to do right now. After he blankly stared at me, he asked why I didn't comment on the couch or even took 5 minutes to breathe. I realized that I was in full nag mode. The stuff men hate, their terrible folklore of what happens after you move in with someone. And it had to cease.

Listen, we or at least I nag because I'm a control freak. I like things the way I like them and I believe that by complaining and annoying I can change behavior. Untrue. The goal is to compromise and see this as part of the journey. To ask rather than demand. To understand that how I see things is not necessarily how Zack or someone else might. Nagging might be part of our frustration in communication with those around us, but I am bound to find a better way.